once upon a time, there was a lonely boy. who just went to school everyday and sat through classes and struggled. and then one day a polar bear came out of the blizzard and attacked him. he was so lost, because it was impossible to see the polar bear in the snow, so the polar bear cut off the boy’s toes and ran away with them. now the boy was lonely AND had trouble balancing. he wobbled around, tripping often, but he finally arrived at the door of his home. as he tried to find his keys, he realized that a very mean girl stole his keys. so he picked up the shotgun on the ground and walked over the girl’s house, blew her head off, took the keys back, and opened the door. he went to his room and planned his financial future. he would be a millionaire by the time he was out of high school, because he would work at costco, which pays $17/hour. he would cut expenses and only get what he needed. so he didn’t need any friends. because friends are wants and not needs. then he suddenly realized he already had a headstart because he had been lonely all his life. so he wrote a song and his financial plan worked fine and he died happy, friendless, and toe-less.