Monthly Archives: June 2008

people who can’t focus on the work that are in front of them shouldn’t try and talk so big. too bad the work in front never ends. always have to talk small then, i guess. never ever.

only 8 more posts until this post counter reaches 2000. which means 2000 posts. that is not really including all those that were from blogs that were copied over here. like from blurty and greymatter. those are like one post for each month. so they dont count. i’m really over 2000 posts, but soon it will really be over 2000 based on blogger. which is quite the amazing. i think. but i don’t really think i will get there soon. if i blogged as much as i did when i started, i would be done in 4 days. but now it seems like it will take maybe 2 weeks. because i keep forgetting i have a blog. there is much busy time in life, i guess. what? that doesn’t make any grammatical sense. too bad. but yea, neglect. it does bad things. like what i do to my tamogachis. however it is spelled. tamagotchi. apparently. but yea, mine always died. because mom didn’t let me bring it to school like everyone else. everyone else was failing school and battling their digimon tamagotchis and i was coming home everyday to quickly clean up pikachu’s feces and then play with it for two seconds before homework. now everyone is…

i could have wrote all these thoughts in a couple of posts. too bad i have this stream of consciousness stuff that makes everything blend together into one long thing. and then it makes my posts long and boring and the count low. maybe it makes things meaningful. but it is quantity, not quality. i like my 5 word posts. they are the most deepest (bad grammar again) stuff ever. i need to sleep.

anyways, everyone’s tamagotchis were better than mine. they had the bear that shot hearts. it came from the slug that shot feces. i think. neglect then love. or something. why do i still remember this? i miss elementary school.

now i am stuck in college with applications to write. and secondary essays to write for medical school. oh, i have never written here my plans. because i am so secretive and conniving (is that even proper usage). apparently i am applying to medical school. i don’t like pharmacy, so i am going to medical school. hopefully. if i can get in. i took the mcat on january 26, 2008. it was the most exciting experience of my life. they patted me down and told me my signature on my drivers license was what i had to sign everything in. too bad my drivers license was when i was 16 and i changed my signature since then. anyways, medical school is hard stuff. apparently they like research and volunteer and helping the underserved and minorities and shadowing and all that other great stuff. too bad i have nothing. i am pretty much useless in all that. hopefully i can get in. then i don’t have to do pharmacy. too bad i don’t really want to do it that much either. if only i stayed engineering, then life would be much easier. sigh! oh well. i guess i can’t start over. if i did. i would be 27 or something with a bachelors in engineering. and then that can’t get me any job. need at least a masters or phd. then i would be 30, and by then, there are young engineers that can easily destroy me. i guess this is best? probably not. makes me hate everyday i live.

not really. sometimes it is enjoyable. only when things work out, i guess. research is fun if the reaction goes. if it doesn’t, then it is a drag and irritates and i don’t want to do it anymore. life should be more like that. when things don’t turn out the way i want it to, it makes me annoyed and i don’t want to do anything anymore. maybe i have mental issues. they say that one out of four have mental issues. and then they say that go think of your 3 best friends. if they are okay, then it is YOU! too bad that is bad statistics. it is a small sample and it isn’t even random. it is like 1/5 people are asian. i wonder who in my family is asian?! omg. doesn’t make any sense at all. i think i already wrote that here. it is probably still on this page, since i never write and things don’t disappear as quick anymore. but whatever. it is good to emphasize bad logic. not really logic. i guess.

have a nice day. it is late and i really lost all creativity. i can’t make anymore flash movies, can’t make anything artistic. no more drawings and messy stuff. really liked that part of my life. it was very i dont know what word to put there. i was going to say something like happy. but whatever. makes me feel good. now it is over. all i can do is memorize stuff and use simple equation models that use little calculus. and that stuff is pretty boring. just plug and chug. nothing GREAT. no story. i can’t even keep my attention span on epic, great movies. (why do people use the word epic so much now? it doesn’t make any sense). i don’t understand the plot and things don’t make sense. all i can understand is DNA, protein, central dogma, SN2, F=ma, and PV=nRT. a little more than that. but nothing that is in silly artistic stuff anymore. maybe i am growing up. maybe i am not. this is really becoming an essay. but i don’t really care. i hope no one reads this because i am venting everything that has been building up. do buildings always have to be built up? sometimes they build down. like in evangelion. apparently, i got so miserable with my life i started watching anime. but they have a building that’s underground. did they build up? no. i think they built down.

but i think this is really the end. i have sold my life. if it doesn’t work out, like it never does, then i really don’t know what i can do. i’ll probably just kill myself.

but i’m too afraid too. oops. it should be a to for the second one.

double o’s are great. looks like oo. eyeballs.

what does a carpet have to do with a car or a pet? it’s not a car. it is not a pet. you can have carpet in your car. and pets always shed hair on carpets. is that the explanation?

some people are like omgomgomg we never meet anymore. but it is all talk. no one really wants to see each other. complain that i can’t go to a graduation. so i call on graduation and say ‘good job’. my reply is ‘who is this?’ thanks a lot. like you really wanted me to go to your graduation. take me off your phone list. make an effort yourself. so useless.

i was burning something today. it was taking a long time. but at 98%, my water bottle fell over and hit the space bar. since it is nero, there is only one button that appears during burning. it is the cancel button. and since things are automatically selected, only one button could be selected. so it died. at 98%. makes me sad.