Monthly Archives: March 2006

theres unhappiness, but no unsadness or unanger. so in reality, there are 3 negative emotions and 1 positive one. this world is so sad.

so i was watching d’espairsray dvd. and apparently they have footage from their san jose concert. well, it makes sense to. its their first concert in america after all. so im watching. and trying to look for myself. but i dont see myself. i guess its because i wasn’t fangirly enough and didn’t say retarded things like “~~~aishiteru desray<33 ^ ^” and other junk like all those other fat white girls. but its fun recognizing all the highways and downtown area. i see a classmate. so she is famous. and she also went to the dir en grey concert in la! which is crazy. i cant believe it. she ditched school for like a week. UAHGH. so lucky.!! kyo sprayed his blood all over her (and the people near her). omg im so jealous. sigh sigh. like really. i am so jealous. and she was wearing the dir en grey shirt today. made me feel miserable the rest of the day. cry cry.

this means nothing to most of you. its just so i dont have to search a lot for the setlist of fra-foa’s final live.

3.edge of life
4.blind star
6.light of sorrow day
11.crystal life


pharmacy requires public speaking?!
i lose.
marines just called me. harhar.

so i watched ‘v for vendetta’ and its really strange. about dystopia in britain and people are like omg government controls everything. so this guy named v is like omg im in a mask and i hate the government because the government makes us scared and steals away our individuality and all that nonsense. and so natalie portman is like wowow shave my head please and goes off with v to fight a revolution. and they do. but its like lame because fighting is just destroying everything. kill all the bad people. cut their throats and bleed everywhere. not that much blood. but eh. apparently everyone in britain was like omg i hate the government too. so they all wore the mask. which kind of doesn’t make sense because they are supposed to be like individuals, but they all wear masks. eh. and so government gets blown up and then the end. and it makes me think. what will happen the day after? its not like people will just agree and be happy now. another leader is just going to rise up again. v never told the people about anything. just told them to be freethinkers and nonsense like that. (actually im not really sure what he said because he talked really fast and weird and used lots of sat words that started with v). so yea. people wont suddenly form their own government. so we should just always blow up anything that we think is wrong.

and they still have dell computers in the future!? and natalie portman’s eyebrows are weird.

uop was fun. ditching school was fun. drove 1.5 hours to be lost for another .5 hours. and then i got there. and it was cool. small school. honors program. what the heck is honors project?! i dont know. dorms are nice. pharmacy school building is nice. problem is. my chem ap is wasted. need to retake that nonsense. and everything. only 4 classes from community college are transferable. so i wasted a lot of time in high school. eh. but pharmacy. 6 years and im done. not 5 because im a nub and i only got into 6 years. but thats okay. because i can get some degree or something in those first 3 years. the last 3 years are pharm school. the first 3 are pre-pharm. but i cant choose if i want to change majors in the future. which is okay. i guess. too many decisions anyways. just choose one thing and fight to the end. ganbatte. i think. anyways. the people i met were cool. well, i only met one girl. because we both went to watch the calc 3 class. because we’re nerds. there were only 3 people that went to calc 3. not really impressed with the calc 3 class, but then its hard to teach such lame material. but that is okay. because im pharmacy. and that needs no calc. which means i wasted more years studying math. sigh. !!! but 100% of graduates have jobs right after graduation. at like $60+/hour. money! lots of asians at uop. feel just at home. its nice.

hm. i wonder if thats everything. ugh. decision making sucks. they gave me a free t-shirt. i am won over! oh god, what if i end up there?!

school is pretty lame. especially art ap. what the heck. he’s making us come at normal time for star testing. even though seniors dont have to take that and can come at like 12. hes like “we’re far behind so we need all this extra time”. well, im sorry. but its not our faults that we spent 6+ weeks making some stupid watercolor painting that is crap. wtf. distort random shapes and color it in and make it a gradient and its art. huh. not our fault that we spent so much time because he never taught us how to watercolor. or even checked our progress. i was done in like 1 week, but since he was busy spending all of class time making artsy bathroom passes, i had nothing to do except wash out all the watercolor and re-watercolor everything. wow. art is so lame. im happy i dont have to go to school tomorrow. im going to be ‘sick’, but im really going to university of pacific because im cool like that. too lazy to get all teachers to sign some form for going college visiting.

halfway through the week already. and went to school for barely any time. its great. i wish everyday could be cahsee testing. because it is fun. go to or something and it shows random things that people want to do. and i think bigger letters mean more people want to do that. so i see there is “Fall in Love” in very big letters. and “Stop Procrastinating” in very large letters. you might not see it, you need to refresh and they will appear randomly. and someone wants to “live instead of exist”. how funny. and a lot of people want to take more pictures and write novels and books. and that nonsense. i dont know what i want to do. what about you? dont answer that.