Monthly Archives: May 2005

grading on effort is retarded. its just for idiots who aren’t smart enough to learn the material, so the teachers pity them and give them a good grade. i’m bitter. like a coffee bean. because school is retarded. its a good thing that i just got my converses because now i can be emo and complain about my life and school. and then say my shoes made me do it. people would believe me. and buy me new shoes. and ill be happy for the free shoes. but i dont care anymore. im trying to find myself some lethal doses of caffeine.

i was at the first american d’espairsray concert ever. it was so cool. first band was some random american band. some ‘trashlight vision’ or something like that. they were trying too hard to be japanese. wearing skirts like japanese guys and screaming. and swinging microphone around like a gogo ball from kill bill. i heard better music listening to an orchestra tune their instruments. and then it wouldn’t stop because they were unoriginal and all the songs sounded the same. i never knew when a new song began. bah. it sucked so much the microphone broke after the first song. (it really did). they even had to ask the crowd to stand up. (unlike d’espairsray, who everyone just stood up right when curtains went up.) curtains fell after american junk. the lucky 4 backstage pass owners went in. random sounds. all these false alarms. screaming fangirls. screaming goths. curtain rises. 4 skinny japanese guys are there. music begins. karyu goes crazy on the 7 string guitar. and zero went crazy on the 5 string bass. and the world was great. my body shook. because i was in 3rd row. the music was too loud. it was great. i loved it. and then midway he started to talk english. trying to speak it. and trying to get crowd all happy. but no one understood. but people still screamed because its d’espairsray. eventually that guy realizes no one understands him and just talks japanese. and white people and me dont understand anything. but its all great. i loved it. d’espairsray makes slipknot sound like the backstreet boys. i was so happy. but i didn’t headbang. because i would have been like all the other billion goths who couldn’t keep their heads on after the show. after the show the benches were filled with goths lying down to keep their heads attached. i laugh at their stupidity. and go home.

and since we all love d’espairsray. heres a picture.

it was hard work trying to explain to my mom about the japanese rock concert i’m going to tomorrow, trying to explain why i would want to go to listen to foreign language. i wonder if i should explain the crossdressing aspect also. confuse her even more.

today i went to the farmer’s market. which sells organic stuff and junk. and then my mom went to buy strawberries and other veggies. i went to mervyns because its right there. and i also needed shoes. because my shoes are falling apart. so i walked in. and picked up a box of the first pair of shoes that i saw. my size. perfect. bought it. and walked out. and now. im stuck with a pair of converses. i didn’t realize my dreadful mistake until now. oh well. it was on sale. but im stuck with converses until they fall apart. which should be soon because they are thin and cheap. oh well. i learned that sudden impulses should be controlled. because i also have more starbucks chocolate covered espresso beans to cheer me up. money is such an evil thing. i think when i grow up ill live in poverty. and enjoy no luxuries. and life will be better.

[OpticTouch] yea, its hard studying while on pot
[a o z o r a] no it’s not. it helps me focus sometimes
[a o z o r a] it’s just expensive and shit
[OpticTouch] i would read one sentence and think up a whole story that is irreleveant for 2 hours
[a o z o r a] maybe pot just isn’t meant for you?
[OpticTouch] thanks
[OpticTouch] yea, its not
[a o z o r a] im a shitty driver unless im stoned as hell.
[a o z o r a] i’m too nervous otherwise
[OpticTouch] ive met someone like u
[a o z o r a] its odd
[OpticTouch] who says pot makes them smarter and more coherent
[a o z o r a] it so does
[a o z o r a] it broadens the mind
[a o z o r a] the college im going to apply to (MAYBE) tells you to smoke pot for inspiration

after some time…

[OpticTouch] oh, so u are into art
[OpticTouch] so iguess, pot is perfect for u
[a o z o r a] yeah, i’m an intellectual stoner artfag 😀

ha. i read somewhere that marijuana also leads to schizophrenia. so if i start smoking marijuana, ill have a friend!

i wish i was as famous as marilyn manson. then i can sell my horrible artwork for thousands of dollars. and people will still buy it. i think ill just start dressing up in tight leather clothing and wear girly makeup and get surgery so my face is even more thin. and then ill learn guitar and play covers for old bands. but of course it will be more industrial and then it will be more electronic. and then i can do really scary weird watercolor art. and then people will buy it. of course this is too much work to earn that money. besides, i would be rich if i already got up to status like marilyn manson. so i wouldn’t care about selling horrible art anymore.

art is a funny thing. apparently there was a guy named andy warhol. most people should know him. he did that strange campbell soup pop art junk. apparently he also did some random painting style called ‘oxidization painting’. its like chemistry, but its fun. because he would paint with some paint containing copper. and then he would have helpers drink beer and piss all over the painting. so it rusts kind of. and he experimented with different beers. “hey. i got some new mexican beer. it makes a really cool green.” its great. i love andy warhol. and i love piss paintings.

in english, the guy sitting behind me told me about a story about how he was having fun swimming. and had a contest to see who could hold their breaths the longest. it was great because he won and could hold his breath for “2 minutes 30 seconds, and [he] smokes.” funny funny. apparently smoking makes lungs stronger. and i think that makes sense in a way. because smoke kills lungs. and then the body learns to live with less oxygen. and then when holding breath, smokers can use less oxygen, but they still breathe in the same amount of air! i think it makes sense. but i shall not smoke. because i dont like fire in front of my face.