Monthly Archives: November 2003

11/18/2003 Entry: “ffx2 release”

remember this?

(i will keep this here until the release of it in the US [UNDELAYED!!! 11.18.03] now i really must keep this here because kevin luu bet me 20$ i cant)
but its not really undelayed because original release was 10.18. oh well. its soon.

its been in my profile for 10 months. i dont think you would have missed it.
i win. i reserved ffx2. i will get it tomorrow!
20$ is mine! yay!

todays lelandpalooza was interesting. dying element. slipknot wannabes. good bassist. exceptional drummer. good guitarists. just. the guy singing. too weird. cannibal corpse voices. non enuciating. like slipknot. except sometimes u can hear what slipknot is saying. i thought to myself. this would be the closest i would ever get to a slipknot concert. so i savored the wonderful stuff. not many people like hard rock. stupidity.

i have a new theory. a new theory for human’s mass extinction. one day. emo will completely terrorize this world. everywhere one goes, emo will be existent. since emo is so depressing. the entire human race will commit suicide. a death. a plague of emo. the world’s population will drop until there are only a few non-emos left. then they will die off. the end.

it seems like i have a cycle for music. it all began with some somewhat heavy rock (papa roach-ish) (7th grade), then punk rock (7th grade). then foreign music (7th grade), then hard rock (8th grade through 9th grade). this year is weird. i started off with hard rock. then i had some foreign stuff. some classical. then some somewhat heavy rock (rammstein). the only thing im missing is punk rock. and whats strange is… ataris sticks in my head… i hope this cycle ends soon.

f a t s h e e p1: that dying element reminded me of when i had massive diarrhea and it was so loud
f a t s h e e p1: cept 50 times worse

11/16/2003 Entry: “mein herz brennt”

Now, dear children, pay attention
I am the voice from the pillow
I have brought you something
I ripped it from my chest

With this heart I have the power
to blackmail the eyelids
I sing until the day awakes
a bright light on the heavens
my heart burns

They come to you in the night
demons, ghosts, black fairies
they creep out of the cellar shaft
and will look under your bedding

Now, dear children, pay attention
I am the voice from the pillow
I have brought you something
a bright light on the heavens
my heart burns

They come to you in the night
and steal your small hot tears
they wait until the moon awakes
and put them in my cold veins

Now, dear children, pay attention
I am the voice from the pillow
I sing until the day awakes
a bright light on the heavens
my heart burns

My heart burns

imagine a world.
a world rid of punk rock.
its not that hard.
just try to think.
a world devoid of anything punk rock.
imagine the lack of goths.
imagine the lack of emo.
its not that difficult.
just strain your brain and you will think of it.
imagine the world empty of punk rock.
no more good charlotte.
no more rancid, ramones.
there would be no more blink 182.
think hard.
and realize.
the difference punk rock causes this world to have.

have u noticed that in the wizard of oz. the scarecrow looks like bowen. bah. its kind of frightening.

Bot Ango Han: nerds cant dance
Bot Ango Han: DDR proves this over and over again

11/15/2003 Entry: “something”

these days people have been annoying. either that or i have become very easily irritated. why are people so irritating? its hard to answer. its like everyone wants me to do what they want me to do. what if i dont want to do what they want me to do? what if i dont care if you want me to do this or that? hm? do i really need to be pressed into following orders from others? cant i decide for myself? is conformity really necessary? do i need to be just like everyone else? is that even possible? for a while i thought goths were nonconformists. but how come they all dress the same? everyone conforms with something. i just dont feel like being part of the majority. do i really have to? do people have to be all the same? i hope not. why are people so aggravating? why do they annoy me to do things i do not wish to do? bah. go away. stop reading this. im making no sense. the only point i want to put out is: people are annoying now. i dont want to conform. the end.

heres something very inspirational.
“Everything is a miracle in somebody’s point of view.”
it could be inspirational to all those emo people. and pathetic people like me. think about it


“Know thyself? If I knew myself, I’d run away.”

“Sanity is a madness put to good uses.”
-George Santayana

“The average person thinks he isn’t.”
-Father Larry Lorenzoni

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
-Sir Winston Churchill

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
-Oscar Wilde

A girl and a guy were riding a motorcycle. They loved each other. Really.

Girl: Slow down a little…I’m scared…
Guy: Isn`t it fun though?
Girl: No it’s not. Please, it’s too scary.
Guy: Then tell me that you love me.
Girl: Fine…I love you, now can you slow down?
Guy: Now could you give me a big hug?
Girl gives him a big hug.
Guy: Hey, can you take my helmet off and put it on? It’s bugging me while I’m riding…

The next day there was a story in the newspaper.
A motorcycle had crashed into the side of a building because the brakes were shot. There were two people on that motorcycle, but only one had survived.

Halfway down the road, the guy realized that his
brakes were broken, but he didn’t want to let
the girl know or else she would have been scared.
Instead, he had her say she loved him one last time and felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die

i find weird crap in xangas.

You are NEMO!
What Finding Nemo Character are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

kinda me.

11/14/2003 Entry: “is 4 hours 7 minutes a long time?”

How long do I last in bed? by DesideroAmor
Real Name
Birthdate (MM/DD/YY)
Favorite Color
Hours 4
Minutes 7
Created with quill18‘s MemeGen!

is that a long time? what is the meaning of “in bed”? does it mean sexual stuff? or does it mean sleeping. hm. im disturbed.

i listened to the whole ataris cd. i only like 2 songs. “my reply” and “in this diary”. both interesting songs i guess. i dont know why. somewhat good.


i dont know. ive gone insane.

oh well. another survey for people to understand me more. or something like that.

[ Current Clothes ] nike shirt, pants
[ Current Mood ] confused
[ Current Music ] rammstein
[ Current Taste ] water
[ Current Make-up ] makeup?!
[ Current Hair] wet. just took shower
[ Current Annoyance ] headache
[ Current Smell ] nothing
[ Current thing I ought to be doing ] hw
[ Current Desktop Picture] some swirly thing
[ Current Favorite Artist ] ayumi hamasaki
[ Current Favorite Group ] rammstein
[ Current Book you’re reading ] lord of the flies – sucks
[ Current CD in CD Player ] nothing
[ Current DVD in player ] nothing
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] the color they are normally
[ Current Refreshment ] nothing
[ Current Worry ] everything

First best friend: dont remember
First real memory of something: visiting taiwan for first time
First car: an rc car
First date: if homecoming counts. then christina
First break-up: never got far enough to be able to be broken up
First job: student
First screen name: abraham4000. then my current one
First self purchased album: papa roach – infest
First funeral : never
First pets: fish
First piercing/tattoo: none
First credit card: none
First true love: define true love
First enemy: myself
First big trip: taiwan
First play/musical/performance : er. dont remember

Last time you smoked: never
Last big car ride: dont know
Last good cry: isn’t a good cry an oxymoron?
Last library book checked out: some css book.
Last movie seen: city of angels
Last beverage drank: jamba juice
Last food consumed: a swanson tv dinner thing
Last crush: who cares?
Last phone call: home
Last tv show watched: haven’t watched tv in a while
Last time showered: about 5 minutes ago
Last shoes worn: my normal shoes
Last cd played: rammstein – live aus berlin
Last annoyance: life
Last soda drank: dr pepper. obviously
last ice cream eaten: too long ago
last time wanting to die : sometime ago.
last time scolded: i dont know
last shirt worn: quicksilver
last website visited:

h a v e y o u e v e r . . .
01. Fallen for a friend? : yea
02. Made out with JUST a friend? : no
03. Rejected someone? : no
04. Been in love? : sure
05. Been in lust? : i guess
06. Used someone? : i dont think so
07. Been used? : i dont think so.
08. Cheated on someone? : no
09. Been cheated on? : no
10. Been kissed? : i dont know
11. Done something you regret? : yea

w h o w a s t h e l a s t p e r s o n . . .
12. You touched? : dont remember.
13. You talked to? : myself
14. You hugged? : dont know
15. You instant messaged? : christina
16. You kissed? : i dont know
18. You yelled at? : no one
19. You laughed with? : myself
20. Last person you had a crush on? : who cares?
21. Who broke your heart? : myself

d o y o u . . .
22. Color your hair? : no
23. Have tattoos? : no
24. Piercings? : no
25. Have a boyfriend? : hell no. no girlfriend either.
26. Floss daily? : no
27. Own a webcam? : yea
28. Ever get off the damn computer? : yea
29. Sprechen sie deutsche? : speak german? yea. somewhat
30. Habla espaZol? : understand spanish? not really

h a v e y o u // d o y o u // d o y o u h a v e . . .
40. Considered a life of crime? : no
41. Considered being a hooker? : no
42. Considered being a pimp? : no
43. Are you psycho? : when i want to be
44. Split personalities? : i can be.
45. Schizophrenic? : maybe this whole world i live in is fake. i dont know. what if all the people i know are fake and just my mind!?
47. Obsessive compulsive? : not me. daniel chang.
48. Panic? : sometimes. quite often.
50. Depressed? : sometimes. but im not emo
51. Suicidal? : doesn’t that go with depression?
52. Obsessed with hate? : im not a goth.
53. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? : a few times
54. Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? : no
55. What would you be doing? : sleeping?
56. What are you listening to? : my computer fans
57. Can you do anything freakish with your body? no
58. Chicken or fish? : chicken
59. Do you have a favorite animal, no matter how lame it may be? : a turtle

a r e y o u . . .
Understanding? : hopefully.
Open-minded? : somewhat
Arrogant? : do arrogant people know they are arrogant?
Insecure? : sometimes
Interesting? : interesting = vague word
a lil hungry? : yea
Friendly? : depends
Smart? : no
Moody? : i dont know
Childish? : sometimes
Hard working? : not really
Organized? : not really
Emotionally Stable? : somewhat
Shy? : most of the time
Difficult? : sure
Bored easily? : yea
Thirsty? : yea
Responsible? : er. depends
Happy? : yea
Trustworthy?: i think
Unique? : im unique like everyone else.
Lonely? : sometimes

a l l a b o u t m e . . .
Name : Abraham
Nicknames : abe
Hair color : black
Birthday : 10/12/88
Eye color : brown
Siblings : 2
Righty or lefty? : right
What’s your sign? : lib


o n d a t i n g . . .
Long or short hair? : long
Dark or blond hair? : dark
Tall of short? : about my height
Pretty but dumb or okay looking but smart?: okay looking but smart
Light skinned or dark? : dont care
Pierced or no? : dont care
Freckles or none? : dont care
Thuggish or sporty type? : if its between the two. sporty

o n p r e f e r e n c e s . . .
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? : hot chocolate
McDonalds or Burger King? : Burger King
Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend? : er. if one person was both then they would be perfect. i think.
Sweet or sour? : sour
Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? : DR. PEPPER!!
Sappy/action/comedy/horror? : comedy
Cats or dogs? : neither.
Ocean or Pool? : bath tub
Cooler ranch or nacho cheesier? : nacho cheesier
Mud or Jell-O wrestling : neither
With or without ice cubes? : with
Shine or Rain? : shine with cool air
Winter/summer/fall/spring? : winter
Vanilla or Chocolate? : vanilla
Snowboarding or skiing? : ski
Cake or cookies? : cookie
Cereal or toast? : cereal
Gloves or mittens? : glove
Eyes opened or closed? : opened?
Fly or breathe under water? : fly
Bunk-bed or waterbed? : waterbed
Chewing gum or hard candy? : chewing gum

i guess thats all. what a waste of time. time to make dinner.

I am not a type of music
You’re nothing, really. But you’re nice.

What type of music are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


11/13/2003 Entry: “my name is abraham”

so. emo glasses again today. wonderful stuff. the blurriness of the lens. making the world seem gloomier and darker. so grey. or is it gray? i dont know. but the world was depressing. as u may have guessed. i borrowed vivians emo glasses again today. but not for 5 minutes. this time it was for 3 hours. the whole world suddenly grew smaller. because of those big fat black frames. made it seem like the world was closing in. i guess thats why emo is so depressing. walked through the halls as a retard. with emo glasses. trying to see. it was painful. and i took them off and returned them. it was wonderful.

heres a very sad depressing me with emo glasses. i know i look foolish and kinda queer. but its the fun in the emo.

11/12/2003 Entry: “hate greymatter”

the ataris are a weird band. my sister has a cd. i listened. many stuff. most of the songs end the same way. the lead singers voice changes also. weird. confused.

im an opposite of my sister. im a positive. shes the negative. she has a xanga. i hate xangas. she listens to punk rock and some rap. i hate those. when she has a problem she goes into depression. when i have a problem. i release it in anger. hm. she likes watermelon. i hate watermelon. er. shes a outgoing person. im a more introvert ish person. hm. i guess it seems like im a negative and shes a postive. oh well. screw it.

today was the great korn concert. i didn’t go. how sad.

changed layout. i was going to use an ayumi hamasaki layout. but kevin luu beat me to ayumi. so heres a quickly made yuna one. my old random one was old. its been a while. time for a change. so. everything will be all moving around and junk. i dont like greymatter. templates are all screwed up. also the first layout to use a white background. originally it was all black. saving monitor pixels. now its monitor burn in friendly. yay!

f a t s h e e p1: wow
f a t s h e e p1: that’s a record time
f a t s h e e p1: im going to start my hmrk
azN xrE taRD BOI: hm
f a t s h e e p1: at 10:00 PM

11/11/2003 Entry: “hows ur veterans day?”

no school there was today. bored am i. why do this they? put a holiday tuesday on. screw up mine schedule. feel weird i do. respect old people today. they fought in wars. dumb. why bother? i really dont care. oh well. i just read my blurty. one year ago. exactly i was playing kingdom hearts. wow. what a dumb game. i really didn’t like it. i thought it was fun. its really boring. dont buy it.

i feel bored. i sound bored. i am making you perceive me as a bored (and boring) person.

if u see some stuff getting screwed. its cuz i updated my blog program. and now its all stupid. and a new layout might come soon.

11/10/2003 Entry: “deception”

this whole world we seem to be decieving ourselves and the world. like this blog. i could write anything i want to be seen as and the people who read this would think of me as that. like. i could write all about death and hate and stuff. people would think of me as an angry boy. if i wrote a bunch of sad songs that talked about love and junk. people would think me as a depressed boy that is hopeless in love. if i wrote stuff that offended people, people would think of me as an apathetic boy that hates everyone and doesn’t care what they think. so i wonder. who am i really? am i the person that the world perceives me as? who am i? i seem to have forgotten. this world is weird. writing in a blog all the time makes me forget who i am. oh well. who cares? i like the way i am perceived to be. good night.

school is weird. bunch of windows were broken. interesting.

Music: Static-X – This is Not

11/09/2003 Entry: “matrix finally ended.”

finally. its ended. the matrix ends. leaving us with more questions than to begin with. what is it really about? people think its religious. so. heres my theory that will make no sense. if u want to link it with religion. here it is.

but there might be spoilers.

ok. the real world is the real world we are in. neo is the “savior”. the agents were the angels to keep order on the world. then one angel named lucifer goes crazy and becomes satan (agent smith). creates his underworld and converts those who choose to resist the devil. the matrix is the internal conflict. whether to do good or evil. the machines are those atheists. that dont believe in anything. are confused and attack everyone. the battle at the end. “it ends tonight” junk. final battle to end all evil. and evil ended. peace came to the believers (zion people) and the atheists (robots). hell is destroyed parallels to all agent smiths dying. and the savior sacrifices himself to destroy evil. which would be neo doing his thing at the end. killing himself. and then. when neo died. there was a cross. in light. and my last parallel is that merovingian represents all the french people.

it would be funny if the wachowski brothers were buddhist.

my sister has a xanga. and sh3 typ3

s lyke d1s. she must be a depressed asian.

xanga music is bad. go away you bandwidth stealing fools. go make ur own website and host ur own music there. stop stealing other’s bandwidth.

Music: The Ataris – Boys of the Summer … dont know why its stuck in my head.

11/08/2003 Entry: “homecoming was fun”

homecoming was fun. despite my inability to dance. dinner was interesting. silent. but interesting. al and connie talked the whole time. the pizzas at california pizza kitchen are interesting. they are small but somehow i just cant eat much. it rained. i had a california pizza kitchen box. it was a useful rain blocking device. i was playing time crisis 3. but then we had to go. sucked. oh well. ha. dance was interesting. why does everyone go clockwise? maybe cuz counterclockwise is weird. picture taking is weird. flash is killer. i think i screwed up picture. oh well. we’ll see. interesting. weird old music. stuff i didn’t know. i knew like 3 songs. total. oh well. doesn’t matter. it was fun. i guess. thats all. time to sleep.

and albert, brian, jeremy, dolly came to annoy everyone at dinner. it was interesting. and the beach balls for the decorations turned into a hazard. flying everywhere.

Music: nothing.

11/07/2003 Entry: “im so emo. im sad.”

u know what? today vivian lim had these weird emo glasses. i decided to put them on to view the world through emo eyes. as i put them on i saw happiness. suddenly. the world was so depressing. everyone made me depressed. i was so sad. everyone seemed to hate me. i wanted to go find a xanga. and complain. and get all sad. then i saved myself. took off those glasses and gave them back to vivian. they were non prescription. but they still hurt my eyes. i dont get it. why does punk rock have all these weird types of people? they have goths. emo. and those people that always seem to be rebelling. wearing shirts with like mr bushs face on it with like “this is freedom?” junk on it. what the frick. if they dont like america. then move out. move to north korea and then they can hate america all they want. they are like rebelling, but they dont know wtf they are rebelling against. then there are those guys with afi shirts. “in darkness together… AFI”. how gay. its like they dont know what the sun is. do they remain down and depressed all day? im confused like always

its going to be an interesting day tomorrow.

Music: Rammstein – Sonne

11/06/2003 Entry: “im uninspired”

today. i just dont feel like doing anything. i am satified just by watching the time slowly leave me. why? i dont really know why. i went to sleep for like 30 minutes. woke up. and sat down. i did not feel like doing math hw. i could just do it later on. its not due tomorrow. but procrastination is bad. i feel sleepy. but im not sleeping. im a very pathetic person. oh well. have fun.

im not gothic. im just hateful.
im not emo. im just sad.
im not a loner. i just like solitude.
im not popular. i just know people.
im not rejected. people just despise me.
im not accepted. people just talk to me.
im not a rocker. i just like rock.
im not hated. im not loved either.
im not asian. my parents are.
im not american. im asian.
im not confused. i just dont know whats going on.
im not apathetic. i just dont care.
im not ignorant. i just dont want to know.
im not happy. im just blissful.
im not sad. im just depressed.
im not stupid. im just dumb.
im not a genius. im just smart.
im not an iconoclast. i just dont conform.
im not a conformist. i just do what im told.
im not interesting. interesting is a vague word.
so is okay.
im not bored. i just dont want to do homework.

hello. my name is abraham. im unique. just like everyone else.

u know. spirit rallies make me wonder. all it is is just a bunch of cheerleaders jumping up and down and screaming at people. it seems kind of lame. how is that spirit? i dont get it. school spirit is dumb.

Music: Ayumi Hamasaki – Dearest

11/05/2003 Entry: “i bet no one was waiting for this.”

who waits for blogs to be updated? i dont know. i dont care. im ignorant and apathetic. yay. im special.

have u all read that wonderful thing? it was in danny’s profile. about the perfect 100% thing? if u haven’t. then read it.

One Two Three Four

its weird. 100% person. is that possible? 100%? it seems very unlikely. perfect person. i dont think theres such thing as a perfect relationship. all of them have flaws… dont they? what makes a relationship last is overcoming those flaws? it seems so strange tho. they just SUDDENLY meet. random people on the street. and they start to talk? how often do people go and meet a person on a street and get to be friends? not very often i think. and then to add even more weirdness. they doubt it. how is that 100%? thats a failure isn’t it? and then random stuff happens like influenza. erasing memory? oh well. its pretty sad i guess. but then im too cynical.

f a t s h e e p1: if your 555 then what am i?
azN xrE taRD BOI: 666
f a t s h e e p1: nice
azN xrE taRD BOI: if ur 666 what am i?
f a t s h e e p1: 777
f a t s h e e p1: if ur 777 then what am i?
azN xrE taRD BOI: 888
azN xrE taRD BOI: if ur 888 what am i?
f a t s h e e p1: 999
azN xrE taRD BOI: im 101010!!!
f a t s h e e p1: if ure 999 then what am i according to slipknot’s theorem of consecutive triplets
azN xrE taRD BOI: 11010101010101010101010100
azN xrE taRD BOI: yea!
azN xrE taRD BOI: binary
f a t s h e e p1: nice
f a t s h e e p1: ure neo
azN xrE taRD BOI: yea
azN xrE taRD BOI: it says
azN xrE taRD BOI: ur a dumbass
azN xrE taRD BOI: ha
f a t s h e e p1: ouch
azN xrE taRD BOI: ouch
azN xrE taRD BOI: muahahha
f a t s h e e p1: if ure ouch ouch ouch then what am i
azN xrE taRD BOI: ha ha ha
f a t s h e e p1: hmm that sounds good
f a t s h e e p1: slipknot’s theorem of consecutive triplets
azN xrE taRD BOI: yea
f a t s h e e p1: i like that
f a t s h e e p1: they should put that in our books
azN xrE taRD BOI: yea
f a t s h e e p1: i searched for it online but they don’t have it
f a t s h e e p1: dammit
azN xrE taRD BOI: haha
f a t s h e e p1: how about me and u
f a t s h e e p1: write it when we become famous
f a t s h e e p1: publish a whole book of slipknot philosophy

Music: Static-X – Black and White

11/03/2003 Entry: “better luck my ass”

better luck tomorrow is the weirdest movie. no asian can make a weirder movie. im serious. i still dont get it. the e

nding basically goes like this..

D0nk 3X: drive off
D0nk 3X: sex!
D0nk 3X: yeah
azN xrE taRD BOI: basically
D0nk 3X: “he’s not responding”
D0nk 3X: “oh well”

thats after they somewhat accidentally killed off stephanie’s boyfriend. and then that weakling guy virgil. shooting himself. acting all brave in the beginning. really cowardly inside. whatever. that movie was funny. u should all watch it.

theres so many things i dont get in the movie. such as the parents. where the hell are they? they are like never there. they dont know their kids are like doing drugs, smoking, drinking, and getting screwed. and how the hell do they get away with all that? they are in highschool. smoking underage. drinking underage. in public also. illegal posession of guns. and they are getting laid by a prostitute in a hotel room. taking turns also. i think thats disgusting. weird stuff. theres a guy drinking dr pepper in the beginning of the movie. hes my hero.

11/03/2003 Entry: “this weather sucks”

this weather sucks. i hate it. why is it so cold? its so annoying. so dark. its completely dark and its only 6. wtf? so dumb. i hate daylight savings. and its so gloomy. and so sleepy. makes me want to sleep. but i have to do hw. so i cant sleep. its annoying. i hate it. i wish it was warmer. i feel cold. time stands still and i am cold. raindrops seeping into the letter box while i’m sleeping, makes it seem like those who wrote me were weeping. random junk.

the sonate pathetique by mr. beethoven is crazy. its 22 pages long. im learning it in piano. i know 8 pages. its going to take forever. it has like all the emotions in it. it starts off all boring scary. then gets all angry. then joy. then dull. its weird. i like it.

I WANT: to finish my lab report
I HAVE: what i own
I WISH: school was easier
I HATE: japanese class
I MISS: life
I FEAR: everything. mostly.
I HEAR: rammstein
I SEARCH: when i lose something
I WONDER: when im confused
I REGRET: whenever i want
I LOVE: myself?
I ACHE: when im sad?
I ALWAYS: am silent
I AM NOT: smart and stupid.
I DANCE: only if someone holds a gun at me at point blank
I SING: in my brain.
I CRY: when im sad
I AM NOT ALWAYS: what i seem to be
I WRITE: on paper using a pencil.
I WON: nothing
I LOST: everything
I CONFUSE: everyone and myself
I NEED: happiness
I SHOULD: talk more.

what a weird survey thing.

holding hands
hand holding – you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don’t
want to take things too quickly.

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

how come to AIM theres only 3 types of web service? AOL, internet, and unconfirmed internet? i dont get it.

Bald Castiglione: if youre using AOL, then yeah u use AOL
Bald Castiglione: internet is like
Bald Castiglione: if you’re on internet
azN xrE taRD BOI: …
Bald Castiglione: unconfirmed internet was like
Bald Castiglione: made by some guy on like cocaine

Music: Sonate Pathetique

11/02/2003 Entry: “changing car tires”

i was at my grandparents house a few minutes ago. i was changing tires! my dad wanted to teach me how to change tires. so i learned. i got my hands all dirty. they are all black and junk. its very interesting. car tires are cool.

i watched some of better luck tomorrow yesterday. it kinda reminds me of real school. like even the names are real. ben and stephanie. ben – the overachiever that wants to major in bio. kinda like the ben kung we all know that wants to be a doctor. and stephanie – the girl that ben likes but she could care less for ben. its real life! the smart boy. the slutty girl. virgil – the psycho guy. that looks like my cousin. and drinks sodas from the whole 2 liter bottle. like danny. gets very hyper psychotic like any korean u can name. such as raphael. the guy that held the gun up to the white guy. something robert would do. and ben likes basketball. sucks at it also. stephanie’s boyfriend is just any other pimp guy. kinda like brian luu. crazy stuff. they are both short people. and stephanie is always hungry. its weird. its like real life. and the white guys always like to piss off asian people.

Music: Rammstein – Klavier

11/01/2003 Entry: “i am confused”

i am confused. i question myself often. i wonder why i write in this blog? what really is the purpose of this blog? is it a place to vent all my confusions, my anger, my happiness, my sadness? is it a place where my extraneous energy in my fingers go type in? i dont know. this blog contains a bunch of weird junk that i have typed from times long ago. memories. successes. failures. a bunch of crap. so why do i bother writing here? this is dumb. i hate blogs. why? all i do is write crap that no one reads. but its online. so some people might read it. and then they will find out all about my life. and then it will become all weird. confusing. i wonder why i even started a blog in the first place? no one had a xanga back then. no one had anything back then. then i saw my cousin’s profile had a livejournal link. wtf is a livejournal i thought? i decided to look at it. inside a found a world of words. silent words. words of thought. so i decided to find one myself. so i found a blurty. clicking on the add new entry suddenly brought new joy. i suddenly found bliss writing a bunch of crap in a blurty. i didn’t care whether anyone read it or not. and then one day i got a domain. and i decided to try a server blog. so i abandoned my blurty and started on this. so to this day. blogging still brings me all the emotions smashed together. it makes me feel high.

or something like that.

Music: Slipknot – Gently